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Pillsbury Toaster Strudels Are

Your Pop-Tart alternative

American breakfasts are weird. Ideally, it consists of a cornucopia of savory and sweet items, both healthy and coma inducing. In reality, they are often hurried and toast-based. I’m not a breakfast eater myself, but I get hungry mid-morning and then I want something. And that something is a pastry of some type, shelf-stabled or refrigerated, than can be readied in minutes. Often enough this is a Pillsbury toaster strudel.

Toaster strudels are a frozen flaky pastry filled, most commonly, with a fruit spread. You toast them directly from the freezer and top them with a sugar icing, as in the package picture (though you have to have skills to not make it look like a mess). I don’t need the extra sugar, so I don’t bother with that last step. They come in a variety of flavors, but the fillings are not distinctive enough to bother with different reviews.

I see them as a less dry alternative to Pop-Tarts. The flaky pastry is moister and if you can get it at the exact right temperature, so the pastry is warm but the filling is not burning hot, it can be quite pleasant to eat. Alas, it’s hard to get there.

My favorite flavor is strawberry cream cheese, followed by the cinnamon roll. I don’t even bother looking at the nutritional label or I wouldn’t eat it. I will note that they do contain palm oil and are not vegan.

I got this box of 6 for $2.50, out of $5 regular price.

See other frozen food reviews.

Rana Chicken Marsala Linguine Meal Kit Review

Yikes!

I continue my cooking strike (which is now only set to last until I empty out my refrigerator), so when I saw this Rana Chicken Marsala Linguine meal kit on sale at the supermarket for $, I thought I’d give it a try. Rana usually has good products, but I’ll say they really missed the mark here.

The kit comes with a bag of semi-cooked pasta and a bag of sauce. You mix the pasta and sauce in the plastic bowl provided and then you microwave. Each kit serves one person, and the portion was generous (or it felt that way due to how unappetizing it was).

The results weren’t good. First, the pasta was too salty and a bit undercooked, but that’s relatively minor. The real problem was the strange and off taste of the sauce. I can’t quite identify it, but it brought me five decades back to when we visited friends of my parents for dinner and they served us ravioli with a similarly horrible taste. They tasted hollow, as if flavor had been replaced by a vacuum, but they also reminded me of chlorine. Ultimately, I thought it might be dirt – perhaps the off note was really from the mushrooms. There were, don’t get me wrong, some hints of marsala sauce – when putting a bite in my mouth I could feel the delicious umami taste of chicken marsala coming, only for the hope to disappear at the first bite and become saltiness and dearth.

The chicken, meanwhile, was also unpleasant. It was tough, having that weird chewy consistency of microwaved and/or texturized chicken, and just being unplesant to bite.

All in all, this was a failure. I’d be curious to see if other flavors are just as bad, but not enough to risk biting into that chicken again.

See other pasta reviews.

Del Real Carnitas review

Or how to make quick tacos

Refrigerated, ready-to-heat prepared meats, are great to keep in the refrigerator (their expiration date is usually months after you buy them) for when you need a last-minute meal. You can add some tortilla and salsa to this one and make some quick tacos, or use them as a filling in a sandwich. Of all the ready-to-heat meats out there, I think Del Real carnitas might be my favorite.

The carnitas are pretty flavorful, though I’d characterized the marinade as mild. They are a bit on the dry side, but I do appreciate the lack of big chunks of fat (at least in this package). They do work better if you add some moisture to them, either through condiments in a sandwich or salsa/sour cream/guacamole in a taco or burrito. They do not have charred/roasted pieces, which I sort of miss, but there are overall a good product.

They are pretty quick to ready. They come in a pouch which you microwave for a few minutes before opening into the provided plastic bowl.

I usually buy them when Safeway has them on sale for $5 (off the $13 regular price). At that price they are a bargain, even though the package suffers from shrinkflation and only offers 15 oz.

Del Real is a majority owned by Guatemalan investment corp Corporación Multi Inversiones.

See other reviews of deli items.

Pocky Peanut Butter sticks review

There is something about Pockys

What exactly is it about Pocky snacks that makes us love them so much? The cookies dipped in cream icings are not the most delicious thing in the world, they are silly to eat if you’re an adult, and they’re fairly expensive. I got these Peanut Butter Pocky on sale for $1.50 (off $2.50 regular price), and it’s just 1 1/4 oz worth of product. Yet, they are irresistible.

I wasn’t particularly fond of these peanut butter pockys, though. The sweet icing did not taste like peanut butter at all. I’m not sure what they tasted like, but it was somewhat off putting. Not enough to prevent me from eating them all, however – though at least not all at once. I wouldn’t get them again, but you know I’d eat them if I had them.

Carnitas, basic but good. there isn’t much flavor beyond that of the pork, if there is a marinade, I can’t really taste it. It also lacked parts that are crispy and overly roasted. But the fundamental flavor is nice, the carnitas are pretty lean and a bit dry, but they would work to mix with a sauce or dressing.

These pockys are made in Indonesia by Glico.

Boston Market Marry Me Chicken Pasta review

We are divorcing

As you might have noticed, I’ve been both in a cooking strike and grocery review writing frenzy. I go through cooking strikes frequently, particularly after periods of intense cooking. Still, I’ve promised myself that as soon as we eat out everything in the fridge, I’m back to cooking.

Meanwhile, I got a couple of Boston Market frozen entrees at the supermarket because they were just $3 on sale. As it turned out, that’s really all they are worth, even nowadays. But I’d remembered Boston Market as some of the better frozen meals and I thought I’d give them a chance again.

I hadn’t had this “Market Marry Me Chicken Pasta” before and it was quite disappointing. It consists of cavatappi in a tomato sauce with pieces of what I’d call a chicken product. The pasta is pasta, cooked al dente. The sauce lacks flavor, though it has a kick. The frozen spinach adds bitterness but nothing else. It was in all, even less appetizing than your run of the mill frozen pasta. It was much improved by adding my own shredded cheese and parmesan, but if I’m going to start modifying it I might as well cook the whole thing myself.

The biggest problem, though, was the chicken. I’ve never knowingly had canned chicken, but I’m guessing this is what it’s like. The texture was just all wrong, spongy but somewhat hard, like it had retained water. I wouldn’t say it was chewy per se, but each bite was unpleasant. The flavor wasn’t bad, but that texture is just horrible.

The lesson here is to not be lazy and boil some damn pasta myself.

Boston Market frozen meals are owned by Bellisio Foods which in turn is owned by Charoen Pokphand, a Thai private conglomerate.

Wilkin & Sons Tiptree Orange & Tangerine Marmalade review

Wilkin & Sons Tiptree Orange & Tangerine Marmalade (~£3 in UK , ~$9 in US) is, as you can expect, bittersweet – and so is my experience with it. I bought this little jar, a year ago, when I was staying with my mother after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We grew up drinking afternoon tea, and I retook this habit with my mom. I needed something to put in my bread, so I bought this marmalade. A couple of months later, after she died, i brought it home where it has mostly stayed untouched – as I had other open jars here.

I opened it yesterday and found that the top was completely crystallized. I’ve stored it high in the refrigerator door, so that might be the issue. I just mixed it back.

This marmalade is absolutely delicious. It has a strong Seville orange flavor, with bright bitter and sweet notes. It’s sweeter than other orange marmalades, and maybe it’s the right jam for me to eat now, when I can finally let the sweetness of my memories with my mother overcome the bitterness of loss.

I am once again amazed at how the Brits are able to create such an amazing jam for such low price (in England). It’s not like other foodstuff in England is particularly cheap, so it’s not just a matter of exchange rates.

Cafe Valley Bakery Girl Scouts S’mores Mini Cupcakes review

These adorable mini-cupcakes were available at Grocery Outlet for $2 a dozen (other flavors also available), and we figured they were worth a try. For the price, we can’t complain.

The cupcakes are very small (pictured here in front of a jar of pistachios for comparison), and while they could fit in a single bite, it’s probably more polite to eat them in two. The yellow cake is a bit crumbly, Grocery Outlet sells many near-expiration products so perhaps that’s because they weren’t too fresh. but tasty enough. It’s your typical yellow cake. The smores flavored topping had a hint of marshmallow flavor, but I also thought it tasted a bit like coffee. It was very sweet, too much so for my taste. They probably work best as a quick bite to get a sugar rush.

See other baked goods reviews.

California Pizza Kitchen Sicilian and Margherita Pizzas review

Surprisingly good

California Pizza Kitchen is both a pizzeria chain and a brand of premium frozen pizzas. They were famous back in the 90’s because of their unusual toppings, which has become far more common in the decades since. Their frozen offerings have changed over the decades, and lately they seem to specialize on thin crust pizzas. I prefer thick crust myself, but I decided to gave these a try last time they were on sale at Safeway ($5 each from $10 regular price – $8 at cheaper stores).

I was actually quite surprised with how much I liked the pizzas. They don’t tste like frozen pizzas at all. While the “crispy thin” crust was, indeed, crispy if cooked for the full time, it had a nice, chewy texture if lightly undercooked. It held the toppings well, without much spillage, and because it was so thin, it didn’t compete with the toppings. And the toppings were very good.

Each pizza realistically serves 2 people when accompanied by a salad (or if they aren’t too hungry).

Unfortunately, California Pizza Kitchen is manufactured by Nestlé – a company that I try to avoid whenever possible because it’s evil. Doubly unfortunately, I often forget what items are made by Nestlé and buy them anyway – this was the case here.

The Sicilian Recipe pizza has Italian sausage, spicy ham, Genoa salami, sweet basil, Mozzarella and Fontina cheeses and a spicy marinara sauce. It definitely had a kick – enough that it woke me up but didn’t turn me away from eating it. I can handle a little bit of spice, but I’m someone who orders her food “mild” at a restaurant.

The toppings are well balanced, complementing each other without interfering. It’s clear someone worked to make sure they all worked together in the right proportions. The sauce had a slight sweetness to it that worked very well to counter the spiciness – again, thought went into this. What the toppings lacked, however, was an element of crunch. This might be provided by the crispy crust – but I purposely undercooked it. I would have liked some added onions or peppers.



I liked the Margherita pizza even better. It has Roma tomatoes, Mozzarella and Fontina cheeses, olive oil and basil, and comes with an Italian herb sauce. The toppings were tasty and extremely well balanced. The sauce succeeded in not being too sweet, being subtle and not competing with the tomatoes while still providing some needed acidity. The tomatoes were bright and fresh tasting and the basil pesto was very tasty and used sparingly, which made it a welcome surprise when you took a bite with it. In all, I enjoyed this pizza very much.


Barilla Campanelle Pasta Review

I call this a “review” but is it really? What can I say about Barilla campanelle pasta that would be in the least original?

Barilla is an Italian mass market brand of pasta which over the last few decades has become the largest producer of pasta in the world. It produces a cheap, consistent and satisfactory product in a variety of markets. Most products for the American market are made right here.

They offer a variety of lines but the “classic” is their standard one. The pasta is pretty neutral and does a good enough job of attaching to the sauce.

My daughter prefers to eat her pasta with butter (or butter substitute) and shredded cheese, and this shape worked well enough with that. Given the hollowness of the bell/flute shape, it probably will work even better with an actual sauce, but I haven’t tried it with that yet. I did like the unusual shape of the pasta, so it gets points for originality.

In general, I find that DeCecco pasta is superior, though more expensive – Barilla can sell for as little as $1/lb.

I’ve boycotted Barilla in the past for their anti-gay stances, and followed their support for genocidal Zionism by buying a brand from a well known genocide-supporter, I think I’ll go back to boycotting it again. Given the mid quality of these pasta, it’s one of those boycotts that are really easy to do.

Twinings Lapsang Souchong Tea Review

Unknown to me, this was to be a unique experience

I haven’t been felling much like tea lately, but yesterday I suddenly got a craving for some. I didn’t want a run of the mill tea, however, and I needed something that could stand up to cream, as my milk was rather iffy. My usual English breakfast tea handles milk a lot better.

I found this Lapsang Souchong tea bag among the bunch and the description seemed to fit my mood. I loved it! It has an enchanting smoky flavor that merged great with the sweetened cream and gave a little boost in the afternoon. I’d definitely buy it again – if I could.

As it happens, Twinings stopped producing Lapsang Souchong back in 2023. This particular variety of tea leaves is only grown around the Chinese village of Tongmu in the Wuyi Mountains. The leaves are smoked over a Chinese red pine wood from the surrounding forests, known for containing a resin called longifolene, which gives the tea its characteristic smoky flavor. Alas, both tea and wood are in the verge of extinction.

Tea farmers in the Wuyi mountains have found that growing other varieties of tea leaves more popular with wealthy Chinese consumers is a more profitable endeavor and have have mostly switched to these. Meanwhile, the pine forests around Tongmu have been devastated by outbreaks of two separate diseases, making the wood unavailable for smokers. Both factors combined raised the wholesale price of lapsang souchong from $24 to $120 a kilo, making it unsustainable for Twinings and other tea companies. Twinings tried to make a copycat version of lapsang souchong but with different tea leaves and wood, which it called Distinctively Smokey, but it largely panned by customers and seems to be no longer available.

Other tea reviews

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