The good, the tasty, and the scary
I’m lazy. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. It’s not something I’m proud of but there is no point about lying about it. I’m as lazy a person as it comes. This means, that I do look for shortcuts whenever possible, and that’s always been my approach to coffee.
Like many Latin Americans, I grew up drinking instant coffee, and I did not change that habit until my mother gifted me a Keurig machine, some time over a decade ago. For me, brewing coffee in a regular coffeemaker was too much trouble. I had added milk and sugar to my coffee until I discovered creamers – probably not too long after they started to fill supermarket refrigerators. Creamers – or so I thought – combine milk/cream and sugar, plus often another flavoring, cutting one step in my morning coffee making. Plus, to be honest, they taste better than just milk.
Alas, until I started reviewing different creamers for this blog post, I hadn’t actually looked at the ingredients on them. I had assumed – silly me! – that they were made from milk or cream, given that most brands distinguished between their regular and non-dairy varieties. Imagine my surprise when I realized than the cheaper brands don’t have milk or cream at all. They are not technically diary-free only because they include milk-derived proteins such as sodium caseinate and micellar casein, but otherwise they are a mixture of sugar, oil and water. Yuck. One brand, Coffee Mate, even includes cellulose!
Truth be told, until reading the ingredients, I usually bought from whatever brand was on sale at Safeway that week – usually for $3 or $4. I’ve tried the natural ingredients brands, but I hadn’t enjoyed the flavors as much. I might be revisiting them, however.
The purpose of this blog post is as a memory aid of the creamers I try and my impression of them, to see whether I’ll buy them again. I do like variety above almost everything.
Bad ingredient creamers
These include Coffee Mate, Delight and some Lucerne creamers. These creamers are mostly made from water, sugar and oil, plus flavorings and a whole bunch of chemical-sounding ingredients. Coffee Mate is owned by Nestlé, one of the most evil companies in the world, Delight is owned by a French company accused of greenwashing and Lucerne is a private brand from Albertsons which currently owns Safeway.
Coffee Mate Pumpkin Spice (on sale for $3 from $6 regular price)
I got this seasonal flavor for my daughter, but I tried it after I run out of my regular creamer. It’s not for me – I’m not a big fan of pumpkin spice anything, much less in coffee. My daughter liked it, however, and preferred it to the Chobani flavor-wise.
Ingredients: water, sugar, soybean oil, dipotassium phosphate, micellar casein, diglycerides, cellulose gel, natural and artificial flavor, cellulose gum, carrageenan, acesulfame potassium and sucralose.
Coffee Mate Harry Potter Butterbeer ($2.50)
I got this creamer at Grocery Outlet, our discount supermarket, when we ran out of creamer. I simply had to get it for my Harry Potter loving daughter. She felt the butterbeer (butterscotch) flavor wasn’t strong enough. Personally, I feel the very artificial flavor pushing in and it’s not unpleasant. It actually somewhat reminded me of the apple butter coffee cake flavor below. Maybe it’s the “butter”. I wouldn’t buy it again, but it’s definitely drinkable.
Ingredients: water, sugar, soybean oil, dipotassium phosphate,mono and diglycerides, cellulose gel, natural and artificial flavor, cellulose gum, carrageenan, acesulfame potassium and sucralose.
Delight Apple Butter Coffee Cake.
I totally hesitated before getting this flavor because “apple” and “coffee” don’t go together, even when followed by cake. Still, I was already planning to write this blog entry and I was curious, plus the reviews were pretty good.
It was OK – drinkable, but after a week I switched to a different creamer and discarded the half-bottle that was left. The artificial apple flavor was quite distinguishable and, as I suspected, didn’t really mesh with the coffee. Indeed, the flavor was so strong that it completely hid that of the medium-roast coffee. It might be able to stand up to dark-roasted coffee, but I didn’t try it. I wouldn’t buy it again.
Ingredients: water, sugar, palm oil, sodium caseinate, dipotassium phosphate, carrageenan, mono and diglycerides, flavoring, sodium stearoyl lactylate and salt.
Lucerne Belgian Chocolate Toffee (on sale for $3 from $4 regular price).
This has been my go-to creamer for several years. I like the chocolate flavor and the “toffee” seems to round it up. The ingredients, however, are just awful, and I should probably just buy chocolate milk instead. They are: water, sugar, vegetable oil, cocoa, sodium caseinate, dipotassium phosphate, DATEM, artificial flavor, cellulose gum, polysorbate 60, salt, carrageenan. Despite this, it’s not vegan because the sodium caseinate comes from milk products.
Actually milk/cream based creamers:
natural bliss is owned by evil Nestlé, Chobani is privately owned, Lucerne is a private brand from Albertsons which currently owns Safeway and Starbucks creamer is also manufactured by Nestlé.
natural bliss Chocolate Caramel Truffle ($3)
This creamer accomplishes its basic job of lightening and sweetening my coffee, but it doesn’t really add much in the way of chocolate or toffee flavor beyond some notes of bitterness which might just be the coffee pushing through. Still, it does cover up the coffee flavor somewhat, so if you’re going this way, you might be better off with just a simple unflavored creamer. I got this at Grocery Outlet when I ran out of creamer but I wouldn’t choose it again.
The ingredients are good, though: skim milk, cream, sugar and natural flavor.
Chobani Cookies & Cream (limited edition, on sale for $4 from $7 regular price)
Chobani offers the most flavors as far as milk-based creamers go. They come in smaller bottles, which makes it a worse value fluid oz per fluid oz, though they are at least not owned by an evil corporation. My real problem with these creamers, like with other milk-based creamers, however, is the taste. It’s pretty mild, and this one tastes just like a weak chocolate milk. This means needing to add more – and at that point I think I may just buy chocolate milk and leave it at that.
Ingredients are: milk, cream, cane sugar, “natural” flavors, cocoa and sea salt.
Chobani Pumpkin Spice (limited edition, on sale for $4 from $7 regular price)
I got this for my daughter and she felt she needed to put far more of it than of the Coffee Mate kind. She would have it again, but prefers Coffee Mate taste-wise.
Ingredients are: milk, cream, cane sugar, “natural” flavors
Lucerne Real Milk & Cream Caramel Macchiato (on sale for $4 from $5 regular price).
Lucerne has both fake and real creamers, the latter costing about $1 more than the former. The difference in ingredients is night and day.
I really wish I liked these natural creamers more than the oil-and-water ones. But I don’t. The creamer enhances, rather than tames, the bitter flavor of the coffee and the caramel flavor doesn’t quite mesh with the coffee. Maybe it lacks sweetness, but it forces me to add more than I would otherwise. I much prefer the Starbucks of the same flavor, but that one is manufactured by Nestlé. I do like there is nothing unnatural (save for the flavors) to this creamer.
Ingredients: milk, cream, sugar, and natural flavors.
Starbucks Caramel Macchiato (on sale for $4 from $8 regular price).
I enjoyed this creamer quite a bit. It gave my coffee a creamy mouthfeel and it had a nice, sweet caramel flavor which wasn’t too overwhelming. Alas, it has some added oil and gellam gum and it’s manufactured by Nestlé.
Ingredients are: nonfat milk, sugar, heavy cream, buttermilk, vegetable oil, “natural” flavor and gellam gum.
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